I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
nutella sex= disaster
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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