What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
