but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
