Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
