you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
