everyone is single if you try hard enough
the day after is always just damage control
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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