you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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