i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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