i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
