No, you can still breathe under the balls.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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