no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
