i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
That's intense
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
