sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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