Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
