question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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