Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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