In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
