I murdered the dance floor call the cops
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
