I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize