Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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