Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
