But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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