My hand turned me down
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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