Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
