It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize