you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
