I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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