Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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