So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
