so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
