hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
