I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
