You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
