my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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