I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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