He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
