Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
