Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
