'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Houston, we have a squirter
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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