I'm going to jail i love you
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
