You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
