i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
she pinky promised me she was 18
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
