Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Randomize
