I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
