In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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