I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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