I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Semen is not good for contacts.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Randomize
