She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
