Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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