you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
