Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
