So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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