Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
