you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
