I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Randomize
