Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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