So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
