That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
