She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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