Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
party gras won. party gras always wins.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
