I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
