I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
